Give me chastity and continence, but not yet.

Love is the answer - but while you're waiting for the answer sex raises some pretty good questions.

I have seen the future and it is just like the present, only longer.

My last cow just died, so I won't need your bull anymore.

The company doesn't tell me what to say, and I don't tell themwhere to stick it.

Talent does what it can; genius does what it must.

We've all heard that a million monkeys banging on a million typewriters will eventually reproduce the entire works of Shakespeare. Now, thanks to the Internet, we know this is not true.

Now, now my good man, this is no time for making enemies.

The longer I live the more I see that I am never wrong about anything, and that all the pains that I have so humbly taken to verify my notions have only wasted my time.

I am an expert of electricity. My father occupied the chair of applied electricity at the state prison.